Quote #8
“I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.” — William Allen White
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Taking Time for Yourself in a Relationship
The following article is by John Gray (Source: Your Achievement Ezine)
We have all heard this advice before. No matter how wonderful togetherness feels in a relationship, it is still crucial for partners to take time for themselves. There is simply no way that a man or a woman can fulfill all of their partner’s needs; it’s just impossible to do. Too often people will give up a favorite hobby, sport or pastime in the beginning of a relationship in order to devote more time and energy to making the relationship work. But, what happens down the road when one or both partners realize that they are terribly out of balance and not taking time for themselves? Relationship stress, miscommunication, or worse: resentment and emotional pain can result.
It is healthy to have different interests. In fact, giving up our own interests and the little things that we do to nurture ourselves when a relationship starts will eventually lead to resentment down the road.
It’s important for both partners to value quality relaxation time. There is absolutely no need to feel guilty about spending time alone. Independence is good for both men and women, no matter how close they may be in the relationship. Typically, when one partner actively takes some alone time, their partner is encouraged to do the same.
How our differences compliment each other:
Just as men and women have different needs in a relationship, they also have different reasons for needing time to themselves. Too much togetherness usually results in partners expecting too much from each other. Women may tend to smother their mates, while men may seem cold and uncaring. It is healthy for each partner to take time out to explore his or her individual interests.
What Men Need:
Men need to periodically pull away. Remember that men are like rubber bands. It is his natural cycle to get close, pull away, and get close again. It is important for men to fulfill their need for independence. Men automatically alternate between needing intimacy and autonomy. Give a man his space and he will be a better, more attentive, partner. When a man gets too close and doesn’t pull away, he often experiences increased moodiness, irritability, passivity, and defensiveness.
Also, when a man is in his cave, he wants to be left alone. He is working out his problems and frustrations by either doing something alone, like reading the paper or watching TV, or doing something active with his male friends.
Most men are happy when their mates do something fun for themselves at these times. It means that she is not sitting around waiting for him to come out of the cave. He will come out ready to talk and be intimate again, and she will have curbed her frustrations by being good to herself and having some fun.
What Women Need:
It is good for a woman’s self esteem to take care of herself. She can get wrapped up in taking care of her family and forget how much she needs to nurture herself. Particularly when a man is off in his cave, she can enjoy the time alone to go shopping, work in her garden, go to a class at the gym, or simply languish in the simple pleasure of soaking in a hot bath with a glass of wine.
It is especially important for a woman to cultivate relationships with other women. Women need to talk about what’s happening in their lives. On Venus, this is an important part of relationship building. Since this is not the case on Mars, it is wonderful for a woman to get together with her girlfriends so that they can talk about, and listen to, each other’s problems, without judgment or offering unsolicited advice.
Couples can even plan these separate times apart. For instance, Tuesday could be his poker night with the boys, and Thursday her night for dinner and a movie with her girlfriends. Both partners will not only appreciate the time to do the things that make them feel good, but will come back feeling renewed and excited to be in such a healthy, well-balanced relationship.
– John Gray
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Quote #7
“Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.” — Napoleon Hill
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Ending Procrastination
The article below is by Jim Rohn (Source: Jim Rohn’s weekly E-zine)
Perseverance is about as important to achievement as gasoline is to driving a car. Sure, there will be times when you feel like you’re spinning your wheels, but you’ll always get out of the rut with genuine perseverance. Without it, you won’t even be able to start your engine.
The opposite of perseverance is procrastination. Perseverance means you never quit. Procrastination usually means you never get started, although the inability to finish something is also a form of procrastination.
Ask people why they procrastinate and you’ll often hear something like this: “I’m a perfectionist. Everything has to be just right before I can get down to work. No distractions, not too much noise, no telephone calls interrupting me, and of course I have to be feeling well physically, too. I can’t work when I have a headache.” The other end of procrastination - being unable to finish - also has a perfectionist explanation: “I’m just never satisfied. I’m my own harshest critic. If all the it’s aren’t dotted and all the t’s aren’t crossed, I just can’t consider that I’m done. That’s just the way I am, and I’ll probably never change.”
Do you see what’s going on here? A fault is being turned into a virtue. The perfectionist is saying that his standards are just too high for this world. This fault-into-virtue syndrome is a common defense when people are called upon to discuss their weaknesses, but in the end it’s just a very pious kind of excuse making. It certainly doesn’t have anything to do with what’s really behind procrastination.
Remember, the basis of procrastination could be fear of failure. That’s what perfectionism really is, once you take a hard look at it. What’s the difference whether you’re afraid of being less than perfect or afraid of anything else? You’re still paralyzed by fear. What’s the difference whether you never start or never finish? You’re still stuck. You’re still going nowhere. You’re still overwhelmed by whatever task is before you. You’re still allowing yourself to be dominated by a negative vision of the future in which you see yourself being criticized, laughed at, punished, or ridden out of town on a rail. Of course, this negative vision of the future is really a mechanism that allows you to do nothing. It’s a very convenient mental tool.
I’m going to tell you how to overcome procrastination. I’m going to show you how to turn procrastination into perseverance, and if you do what I suggest, the process will be virtually painless. It involves using two very powerful principles that foster productivity and perseverance instead of passivity and procrastination.
The first principle is: Break it Down.
No matter what you’re trying to accomplish, whether it’s writing a book, climbing a mountain, or painting a house the key to achievement is your ability to break down the task into manageable pieces and knock them off one at one time. Focus on accomplishing what’s right in front of you at this moment. Ignore what’s off in the distance someplace. Substitute real-time positive thinking for negative future visualization. That’s the first all- important technique for bringing an end to procrastination.
Suppose I were to ask you if you could write a four hundred-page novel. If you’re like most people, that would sound like an impossible task. But suppose I ask you a different question. Suppose I ask if you can write a page and a quarter a day for one year. Do you think you could do it? Now the task is starting to seem more manageable. We’re breaking down the four-hundred-page book into bite-size pieces. Even so, I suspect many people would still find the prospect intimidating. Do you know why? Writing a page and a quarter may not seem so bad, but you’re being asked to look ahead one whole year. When people start to do look that far ahead, many of them automatically go into a negative mode. So let me formulate the idea of writing a book in yet another way. Let me break it down even more.
Suppose I was to ask you: can you fill up a page and a quarter with words-not for a year, not for a month, not even for a week, but just today? Don’t look any further ahead than that. I believe most people would confidently declare that they could accomplish that. Of course, these would be the same people who feel totally incapable of writing a whole book.
If I said the same thing to those people tomorrow - if I told them, I don’t want you to look back, and I don’t want you to look ahead, I just want you to fill up a page and a quarter this very day - do you think they could do it?
One day at a time. We’ve all heard that phrase. That’s what we’re doing here. We’re breaking down the time required for a major task into one-day segments, and we’re breaking down the work involved in writing a four hundred-page book into page-and-a-quarter increments.
Keep this up for one year, and you’ll write the book. Discipline yourself to look neither forward nor backward, and you can accomplish things you never thought you could possibly do. And it all begins with those three words: break it down.
My second technique for defeating procrastination is also only three words long. The three words are: Write it Down. We know how important writing is to goal setting. The writing you’ll do for beating procrastination is very similar. Instead of focusing on the future, however, you’re now going to be writing about the present just as you experience it every day. Instead of describing the things you want to do or the places you want to go, you’re going to describe what you actually do with your time, and you’re going to keep a written record of the places you actually go.
In other words, you’re going to keep a diary of your activities. And you’re going to be amazed by the distractions, detours, and downright wastes of time you engage in during the course of a day. All of these get in the way of achieving your goals. For many people, it’s almost like they planned it that way, and maybe at some unconscious level they did. The great thing about keeping a time diary is that it brings all this out in the open. It forces you to see what you’re actually doing… and what you’re not doing.
The time diary doesn’t have to be anything elaborate. Just buy a little spiral notebook that you can easily carry in your pocket. When you go to lunch, when you drive across town, when you go to the dry cleaners, when you spend some time shooting the breeze at the copying machine, make a quick note of the time you began the activity and the time it ends. Try to make this notation as soon as possible; if it’s inconvenient to do it immediately, you can do it later. But you should make an entry in your time diary at least once every thirty minutes, and you should keep this up for at least a week.
Break it down. Write it down. These two techniques are very straightforward. But don’t let that fool you: these are powerful and effective productivity techniques that allow you put an end to procrastination and help you get started to achieving your goals.
To Your Success,
Jim Rohn
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Quote #6
“One of the greatest gifts you can give to anyone is the gift of attention.” — Jim Rohn
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Quote #5
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, People will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” — Maya Angelou
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Quote #4
“Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.” — Og Mandino
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Lefthanded Soldiers
The following article is by Gary Eby (source: Your Achievement Ezine).
Lefthanded Soldiers is dedicated to all of those who have been wounded in life … whether physically, emotionally, spiritually, or financially and yet, against all odds, have risen from the devastation to become a champion!
There are few things in life that move me like seeing someone overcome adversity. I believe that there are great men and women from all walks of life, who, because of some “event’ or series of events, have pretty much given up. Somewhere between brokenness and bitterness many have laid down their proverbial swords and surrendered. They’ve been wounded. Lefthanded Soldiers teaches us that when we are wounded … when our “right arms” have been hurt … that we can become Lefthanded Soldiers rather than allowing our circumstances to condemn us to a life of “what-ifs.”
How many great leaders are no longer leading? What will our society suffer because the leadership we need is somewhere hurting rather than rallying the troops? What great sickness is raging because the doctors and nurses who can make a difference are in need of healing themselves? How many great sermons will not be preached because an overworked and underpaid Pastor had a “humpty-dumpty’ fall and is allowing condemnation to keep him out of service? Great public servants, teachers, volunteers, entrepreneurs, and politicians, all over the world are waiting … waiting for someone to care enough to put their arms around them and say … “Let’s get back into the battle of life again! We need you!”
I believe that great leaders can inspire the “wounded warriors’ among us that they can “engage’ in life again and they can be winners!
In the real world … most of the time … it’s the size of your mess that determines the size of your message. It may not be pleasant to hear, but, the size of your testimony is due, in large part, to the size of your test. Where would Abe Lincoln have been without the Civil War? Where would John Kennedy have been without the Cuban Missile Crisis? David needed Goliath to become King. You cannot wear a victor’s crown without having fought a few battles! You can’t sing before you talk. You can’t run before you walk. You can’t have a message until you’ve had a mess … and you can’t have a testimony until you’ve had a test! Let’s look at these lyrics to a song that I wrote.
The victor’s crown only goes to those who’ve been in war.
Eagles can’t stay in their nest if they want to soar.
Sitting on the sidelines you’ll never be your best.
You can’t have a testimony ‘till you’ve had a test.
God won’t send thirsty people to an empty well.
Heavens cup sure is sweeter once you’ve tasted hell.
There’s no wine until the grape has gone through the press.
You can’t have a testimony ’till you’ve had a test.
Out of this understanding “Lefthanded Soldiers” was born. I want to teach you … to teach others that “Change is a door that can only be opened from the inside!”
The willingness to change can be inspired by others but change itself is a personal choice. It is “Choice” not “Chance” that determines your destiny.
Lefthanded Soldiers is a call for the wounded to “get back into the battle of life!’”
Lefthanded Soldiers is a call for leaders to build an army of renewed, revived warriors. Let’s teach them that they can make a decision to “engage” in life again. Let’s teach them that they can make a difference in the world. They can be “Lefthanded Soldiers!”
– Gary Eby
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Learn From Failure and Confirm with Success
The following article is by Chris Widener (source: Your Achievement Ezine)
Most people think that failure is bad and success is good. I want to help you change your thinking about that if you fall into that category. I will give you that failure isn’t fun and success is, but I think the following is true:
Both failure and success are good… if you know what their specific purpose is.
Of course we know that success is good, but why? Success is good because it confirms things for us.
Success confirms our plans.
Success confirms our decisions.
Success confirms our resources.
Success confirms our strategies.
Success confirms our hunches.
Success confirms our teamwork.
Success confirms our risks.
Success confirms a lot of things!
So when you are successful, ask yourself the following question: What does this success confirm in my mind?
Now, what about failure? What is the role of failure and how in the world can it be GOOD?
Failure’s role is to teach us. We learn from failure.
Failure teaches us that we need to change our plans.
Failure teaches us that we need to change our decisions.
Failure teaches us that we need to change our resources.
Failure teaches us that we need to change our strategies.
Failure teaches us that we need to change our hunches.
Failure teaches us that we need to change our teamwork.
Failure teaches us that we need to change our risks.
Failure teaches us that we need to change a lot of things!
But at least now we know one more thing that won’t work! With every failure, we learn one more way we can abandon and focus in on what may be the correct way in the future! When we look at it that way, we set ourselves up for a powerfully successful future! So when you fail, ask yourself this question: What does this failure teach me? Remember, Success and Failure are both good. They can both be your friend… If you know what role they are to play in your life. Learn From Failure and Confirm with Success.
– Chris Widener
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
The Four Steps to a Super Attitude
This post is by Brian Tracy (source: Your Achievement Ezine)
Decide How to React
It is not what happens to you that counts. It is how you react to what happens to you, especially when you have unexpected problems of any kind.
Here are four things you can do to assure that your attitude is the very best it can be, under all circumstances.
Focus on the Future
First, whatever challenges you face, focus on the future rather than on the past. Instead of worrying about who did what and who is to blame, focus on where you want to be and what you want to do. Get a clear mental image of your ideal successful future, and then take whatever action you can to begin moving in that direction. Get your mind, your thoughts, and your mental images on the future.
Think About the Future
Second, whenever you´re faced with a difficulty, focus on the solution rather than on the problem. Think and talk about the ideal solution to the obstacle or setback, rather than wasting time rehashing and reflecting on the problem.
Solutions are inherently positive, whereas problems are inherently negative. The instant that you begin thinking in terms of solutions, you become a positive and constructive human being.
Look for the Good
Third, assume that something good is hidden within each difficulty or challenge. Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, a major proponent of positive thinking, once said, “Whenever God wants to give us a gift, he wraps it up in a problem.’ The bigger the gift you have coming, the bigger the problem you will receive. But the wonderful thing is that if you look for the gift, you will always find it.
Seek the Valuable Lesson
Fourth, assume that whatever situation you are facing at the moment is exactly the right situation you need to ultimately be successful. This situation has been sent to you to help you learn something, to help you become better, to help you expand and grow.
Decide to Be Positive
A Positive Mental Attitude is indispensable to your success. You can be as positive as you want to be if you will simply think about the future, focus on the solution and look for the good. If you do what other successful people do, if you use your mind to exert mental control over the situation, you will be positive and cheerful most of the time. And you will reap the benefits enjoyed by all successful people.
Action Exercises
Here are three steps you can take immediately to put these ideas into action:
First, become solution-oriented with every difficulty you face. Make a habit of looking for the answers to your questions, the solutions to your problems.
Second, seek for the valuable lesson in every adversity. Make a list of every idea or insight you can gain from every setback or difficulty.
Third, think on paper. Take some time to write out every detail of the problem, and then take the most logical next step to solve it.
– Brian Tracy
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
